The following was originally written on April 23, 2015:
Today. What a sweet word! Even on the worst days, it is such a sweet reminder that I have been granted this day, these hours as a stewardship and a blessing. It has been one of those tough days. I have really been struggling against sin and, while I have not given in, the grind and struggle is really exhausting. The resistance seems to take more of a toll than the sin itself. It almost seems like it would be better to give in, repent, and get over it… And yet I am ignoring this insidious suggestion because I know from where it stems… it grows from the false idea that my feelings are equal to and demonstrative of my actual spiritual state. I am feeling the drain and strain of a long resistance and the uphill, Sisyphusean battle against all that I hate… and I am tempted to think that exhaustion is the same as failure. That being spiritually and mentally fatigued is the same thing as having sinned before God. By the grace of God, I know that this is simply not true. Praise God for His Revelation which is so helpful in guiding me and teaching me to trust the truth of His Word and promises more than the fickle winds of my own emotions! I know that the fight, exhausting as it may be, is worth it because it brings glory to God and pleases Him (1 Peter 1:13-25).